【扬升大师】如何处理成瘾

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扬升大师Sanhia-如何处理成瘾

We’ve received several questions from individuals who find that dealing with addictions is a major component in their lives. Often this takes the form of having a partner and/or a parent who is an alcoholic. These people relate feelings of helplessness, being compelled to try to aid but experiencing a hopelessness that things will ever change. The first place to look, always, when it seems that another is causing you problems or you feel yourself to be the victim of their behavior, is at projection. Whatever you are seeing or judging in another is yours. It shows what you believe and judge in yourself. The ego mind will scream out, “No! It’s them, it’s not me!” Listening to the ego thoughts just continues the cycle, ensuring there will be no resolution and no change. The hopeless endlessness and futility of any attempts at solutions will persist. The cause of the challenge is never outside of you; it is always within.
我们收到了发现处理成瘾是生活中一个重要组成部分之人的几个问题。这种情况通常表现为伴侣或者父母是酗酒者。这些人有着一个无助感，他们被迫去帮助别人，但体验到了一个事情永远不会改变的绝望感。一如既往，当看似别人给你造成了麻烦或者你感到自己是他人行为的受害者，需要先去看的就是投射。无论你在看到或评判对方的什么，那些东西都是你自己的。它展示了你相信的东西和对自己的评判。小我会尖叫“不！是他们，不是我！”聆听小我的想法只会继续这个循环，确保没有解决方案和改变。任何无用地、无希望地寻求解决方案情况会继续下去。挑战的起因从未在你之外，它总是在你之内

Confusing cause and effect is the hallmark of the ego mind. When you accept that the addiction is yours, it becomes a whole new game. You can now ask yourself what you are addicted to. You will not likely face that if you remain attached to the belief that it is the other who is addicted. In the case of perceived alcoholism, some people are addicted to living with an alcoholic. Addiction is a patterned response when one doesn’t accept what is here now in their life. Of course, this is easily seen with alcoholics. They find life to be not acceptable. Depression or other undesirable emotions can be escaped through the consumption of alcohol. Addiction is simply avoidance; it is using some technique to not be in the now. It is an expression of wanting life to be other than it is. An awareness of the habit of rejecting what is in yourself makes it much easier to see your own addiction. You may be telling yourself that you don’t drink like your partner does, so you are not an addict. But do you reject your partner as they are, wishing them to display different behavior? That may be one of your addictions. You do not accept what is. Your mind might be asking, is it okay just to accept the drinking with no attempt to stop it? Has your disapproval, your judgment had any effect so far? Do you actually have the power to change the situation? For some of you this has gone on for decades. All your efforts have failed. What remains is the addiction to try to make a difference, to not accepting what is.
令人困惑的因和果是小我头脑的标志。当你接纳那个成瘾是你的，它就成为了一个全新的游戏。你现在可以问自己你对什么上瘾。如果你坚持认为是别人上瘾了，你可能就无法面对它。在觉察到酗酒的情况中，一些人沉迷于和酗酒者生活在一起。成瘾是一种模式化的反应，当一个人并不接纳正在生活中发生的东西。当然，这在酗酒者身上很容易看到。他们认为生活是无法接受的。抑郁或其它的不良情绪可以通过饮酒来摆脱。成瘾就是一种逃避；这是使用一些方法不去处于当下。这是想要生活变得和现在不一样的表达。意识到“拒绝你之内存在的东西”这个习惯会让你更容易看到自己的成瘾。你可能会告诉自己，你不像自己的伴侣那样喝酒，所以你不是一个瘾君子。但你是否拒绝伴侣现在这个样子，希望他们不一样地行为？这可能是你的其中一个成瘾。你不接纳当前的情况。你的头脑可能会问，就这样接纳喝酒而不试图阻止它，真的没事吗？到目前为止，你的反对，你的评判有任何效果吗？你真的有力量改变情况吗？对一些人来说，这已经持续了几十年。你所有的努力都失败了。剩下的是“试图做出一个不同，不接纳当前情况”的成瘾

Let’s take this away from the stereotypical examples of addiction such as alcohol and drugs. Anything that you do to avoid being in and accepting the now is addictive behavior. Let’s say you are having an uncomfortable feeling. You may choose to meditate, because in your experience, meditating allows you to rise above uncomfortable emotions and go to another more peaceful place. This is addictive behavior. Though this action does not carry along with it the same health concerns that accompany drinking or drugs, it is like them in that it does not “solve” the problem. It simply avoids it for the moment. The feelings will return. The habit of choosing to escape uncomfortable feelings will continue. The relief is only temporary. You each have your addictions of choice for avoiding what you don’t want to see. Some go for walks, train or run, or eat (ice cream seems to be the recipient of much of the blame here).
让我们从酒精和毒品等成瘾的典型例子中脱离出来。任何你所做的用来避免处于当下和接纳当前情况的事情都是成瘾行为。让我们说你有一种不舒服的感觉。你可能选择冥想，因为根据你的经验，冥想会让你超越不舒服的情感，进入一个更加平静的境地。这是一种成瘾行为。尽管这个行为不会带来喝酒或吸毒的同等健康问题，但在它不会解决问题方面是一样的。它只是暂时地避开问题。感受会返回。选择逃避不舒服感受的习惯会继续。慰藉只是暂时的。你们每个人都有自己成瘾的选择来避开你不想要看到的。一些人散步、锻炼或跑步，或吃（在这里，冰激淋似乎是罪魁祸首）

What would it look like to actually face the demons in your life? To begin with it might mean to empty the mind of thoughts about the situation. Thoughts are an addiction. The need to understand is an addiction. Let go of that mental activity. You can’t stop a thought from coming into your mind, nor can you choose the next one. You can choose to not dwell on what arrives. You can stop following or acting on those thoughts. You can starve them through inattention. Where does the focus go if not to mental activity? Your awareness goes to the feeling you are wanting to escape. You probably have a label or a name for this feeling. It might be anger, envy, hopelessness, frustration, or anxiety. Let go of the definition; don’t give it a name. Don’t treat it like a thing and put it in a box. Instead ask how this emotion now expresses itself in your body. What are you feeling? Notice where in the body these sensations are felt. What are they like? Do not try to get rid of them or to have them change in a way that might be more comfortable. Even let go of any thoughts that your willingness to face the feelings will allow you to feel better.
实际面对生活中的恶魔会是什么感觉？这可能意味着清空头脑中关于情况的想法。想法是一种成瘾。需要明白是一种成瘾。放下那种心理活动。你无法阻止一个想法进入你的脑海，你也无法选择下一个想法是什么。你可以选择不驻留于已经到来的想法。你可以停止跟随或根据那些想法行为。你可以通过不关注而令它们枯萎。如果不关注心理活动，那注意力会前往哪里？你的意识会前往你想要逃避的感受。你也许对这个感受持有一个标签或名称。它可以是愤怒、嫉妒、绝望、沮丧或焦虑。放下定义；不要给予它名称。不要把它当作一样东西并放到盒子里。而是询问这个情感现在如何在你的身体中表达自己。你在感到什么？留意身体的哪里感到了这些感受。它们是什么感觉？不要试图摆脱它们或者让它们变得更舒适。即使放下“你愿意面对感受”的想法也会让你感觉美好

All the preceding warnings are to help you avoid addictive behavior. The ego mind wants to choose anything rather than be with what is, so your job is simply to accept or face what is there and to experience it fully without any other agenda. As you fully experience the sensations, as you pay complete attention to them, you will notice that they change. Nothing remains constant in the now except your presence and awareness. The change that occurs is not due to your attention. Change is the natural course. Your attention simply allows you to be aware of the movement. If you try to use your mind to explain and understand or change the feeling, you lose touch with what is being felt in the now and, instead, will hold on rigidly to the previous feeling. This does not mean that the change will provide a lessening of the sensation. It might increase; it might move to other parts of your body. Again, your only task is to stay with the bodily sensation and ignore whatever your mind might try to tell you. So, you sit and listen to whatever is present in those feelings just as you might sit and listen to the birds chirping or the leaves rustling in the breeze or the scream of a siren in the distance. Those sounds are there. You can’t make them go away. You can cover your ears, but the sounds are still there. You can choose addictive behavior, but the feelings are still there. You can opt to experience the fullness of the feelings in your body without taking recourse to the addictive patterns of thinking about the discomfort. Let go of definitions and words. Find out what is truly there and allow it to exist. Let it remain as long as it wants to be there. Let it morph into whatever it will become, not because you wish it would become something else, but because that is its nature, and you are curious to see where it will lead.
所有先前的警告都是为了帮助你避开成瘾的行为。小我头脑想要选择除开当前情况的任何东西，所以你的工作只是接纳或面对现在存在的并充分体验它，不带任何其它的议程。当你充分体验感受，当你完全关注它们，你会注意到它们改变了。没什么会在当下保持不变，除了你的意识和存在。发生的改变并不是出于你的关注。改变是自然的过程。你的关注只是让你去意识到运动。如果你试图使用头脑来解释或理解或改变感受，你会失去与在当下感受到的东西的连接，你会紧紧抓住以前的感受。这并不意味着改变会减轻感受。它可能会增加。它可能会移动到你身体的其它部位。再次，你唯一的任务是与身体的感受同在，忽视你的头脑会试图告诉你的东西。所以，你坐下并聆听任何存在于那些感受中的东西，就像你会坐下并聆听鸟叫或者树叶在微风中沙沙作响，或者远处的汽笛声。那些声音就在那。你无法让它们消失。你可以捂住耳朵，但声音依旧在那。你可以选择成瘾的行为，但感受依旧在那。你可以选择去充分体验身体中的感受，而不求助于成瘾的思维模式。放下定义和话语。找出真正在那的东西并允许它存在。它想要存在多久就允许它存在多久。让它蜕变成它会蜕变成的东西，不是因为你希望它会变成别的东西，而是因为那是它的本性，你好奇地想看看它会变成啥样

Let’s return to something we touched on earlier. I can hear the silent screams coming from some of you, upset that We might call your meditation an addiction. The function of meditation is to experience and hear what is present, totally, including the guidance that is heard from your inner wisdom, from your Divine self. It is not to be used to shut out the world or to go to a euphoric place. That, again, is addictive behavior, avoidance. I am by no means discouraging you from indulging in meditation if you find it to be relaxing and enjoyable. But I ask you to be absolutely honest with yourself. What is your motivation here? Do you use it for escape? We would suggest that true meditation is letting the mind and thoughts go and being fully aware of what is transpiring in the present. There is an absolute purpose for the emotion you are feeling. The mind wants to figure out what the feeling is about. The mind is not capable of doing this. We could say that the mind’s thoughts and beliefs are responsible for triggering the feeling. How can the mind be cause and solution at the same time? It can’t. It can only continue to muddy the water. The mind cannot defeat the mind. You simply learn how to not pay attention to it. Your emotional response is likely the reaction to something the mind is holding as true. Changing thoughts is like electing new leaders. Nothing is solved. Your meditative process is to accept every feeling, all that is around you, without censure or judgment. It is not to shut out the feelings, but to amp up the reception. True meditation is not active or directive, but passive and receptive. As we talked about in previous messages, it is tuning into Divine Will, not personal will. You don’t have to change your mind; you just stop thinking. You don’t have to change your feelings. In fact you can’t, rather you pay attention to what is there. As the mind begins to stop creating poisonous lies, the body will stop reacting. In the meantime, it is good to know. There is an enormous benefit to listening to what your feeling has to say. You don’t blame the smoke alarm for the fire. Disabling it will certainly not leave you safer. Have gratefulness for your alarm system going off. Your feeling is showing that your mind is on a bender. It is not your task to figure all this out. You only listen to the feelings and allow them to lead you, rather than attempting to lead them. Follow them. They are not the problem. It would be closer to the truth to call them the solution, but the deepest truth is that there is no problem. This is a balancing energy to the confusion of the mind. Listen to these sensations and allow them to take you where they will. That ultimate place is deep within you. This is true meditation.
让我们回到之前提及的内容。我可以听到你们一些人发出的无声尖叫，对我们称你们的冥想是一种成瘾感到愤怒。冥想的作用是去体验和听到当下存在的东西，包括来自你内在智慧、神圣自我的指引。它不是被用来关闭世界或者前往一个令人愉悦的地方。再次，这是一种成瘾行为，一种逃避。我绝不是劝阻你不要沉浸于冥想，如果你发现它是令人放松的和愉悦的。但我请求你对自己绝对真诚。这里你的动机是什么？你是用它逃避吗？我们建议真正的冥想是让头脑和想法离去，完全意识到正在当下发生什么。你正在感到的感受有着一个绝对的目标。头脑想要弄清楚这个感受是什么。头脑没有能力做到。我们会说头脑的想法和信念负责触发感受。头脑如何同时作为起因和解决方案？它无法。它只能继续把水搅浑。头脑无法击败头脑。你只需学习如何不去关注它。你的情绪反应很可能是对头脑保持为真的东西的反应。改变想法就像选举新的领袖。没什么东西被解决。你的冥想就是接纳每一个感受，你周遭的一切，不带谴责或评判。它不是关闭感受，而是放大接收程度。真正的冥想不是主动的或指导性的，而是被动的和接收性的。正如我们在之前信息谈论过的，这是协调于神圣的意志，不是个人的意愿。你不需要改变你的想法；你只是停止思考。你不需要改变你的感受。事实上，你无法改变，而是去关注此刻在那的东西。当头脑开始停止创造有毒的谎言，身体会停止反应。聆听你的感受要说什么是非常有益的。你不会把火灾归咎于烟雾报警器。拆掉它肯定不会让你更加安全。对你的警报系统响起表达感恩。你的感受在展示“你的头脑正在放纵”。弄清楚一切不是你的任务。你只是聆听感受，让它们引领你，而不是试图引领它们。跟随它们。它们不是问题。称它们为解决方案更加接近真相，而最深刻的真理就是没有问题。这是对混乱的头脑来说是一个平衡的能量。聆听这些感受，让它们带你去它们想要你前往的地方。那个终极之地就是你的内心深处。这才是真正的冥想

As you are releasing your addiction to the mind, your habit of escaping the feelings by attempting to change, ignore, or get rid of them, your mind is not simply going to wave a white flag and surrender. It might play some of the following games. It could go the route of justification through proclaiming your feelings to be good and right because anybody in your situation would be reacting as you are. If you listen to this, you have let the mind back in and withdrawn focus from the feeling sensations. Another mind game is to try and understand your feelings. Your mind will also try to defend the feelings, a close partnership with justification. You may try to make yourself feel righteous, while whoever has triggered the emotion is in the wrong. Feelings are not good and bad. They just are. Joy and ecstasy are not good feelings. Trying to hold onto “good” feelings while jettisoning “bad” feelings is another example of mind games. You will not be successful in holding those you want anymore than you are able to get rid of those you don’t like. Full awareness of your feelings speaks nothing about action or expression of the feeling sensations. Any need to express your feelings is an idea. Spontaneously something may burst forth, but that is just what is. Notice the expression and let it be a part of your now (though it will quickly recede from that stage). You may be guided to action, but no decision is involved there. You simply know and do, always then returning awareness to the present. These feelings are yours. Others have no need to know of their existence. In a similar manner to how you would not be likely to do your meditation on a busy city street with sounds of traffic and loud voices of pedestrians around you, facing your feelings is best done in a quieter setting and does not involve other people.
随着你释放对头脑的成瘾，放下“通过试图改变、忽视或摆脱感受来逃避它们”的习惯，你的头脑不会就这样举白旗并投降。它可能会玩耍以下的游戏。它会通过宣称你的感受是好的、正确的来进行正当辩护，因为任何处于你情况的人都会和你一样反应。如果你听它的，你就会让头脑返回，将专注从感受中撤离。另一个头脑游戏就是试图并理解你的感受。你的头脑还会试图捍卫感受、与“正当”的亲密伙伴关系。你可能会试图让自己去感到自己是正当的，而任何引发这种情绪的人是错误的。感受不是好或坏。它们就是它们。喜悦和狂喜不是好的感受。试图紧抓好的感受，同时抛弃坏的感受是另一个头脑的游戏。你无法留住那些你想要的感受，就像你无法摆脱你不想要的感受。完全意识到你的感受，不要述说与感受有关的行动或表达。任何想要表达你感受的需求都是一种想法。一些东西会自发出现，但它就是要这样。留意表达，让它成为你当下的一部分（尽管它会快速从那个舞台消退）。你可能会被指引去行动，但这里不要涉及任何决定。你只是知道并做，然后把意识带回当下。这些感受是你的。其他人不知道它们的存在。就像你不可能在熙熙攘攘的城市街道上冥想，面对你的感受最好在一个更加安静的环境中进行，不要涉及到其他人

Let’s go full circle now and return to the initial question which dealt with the addictions of others, rather than personal addictions. When you stop projecting upon your partner or whoever the other person might be and own the addiction yourself, dealing with it as we have discussed in this message, interesting things will happen. Interesting things are always happening in the now. I want to remind you that your job is not to seek results, but to be with whatever is happening. The goal is not to end your partner’s alcoholism. All that is required is that you be present with what is happening and with whatever feelings are elicited from you. As you are staying present with these emotions, maybe you notice changes in your partner and maybe you don’t. That is not important. What is of significance is what is going on within you. Stay away from your thoughts so you can notice what is present. Whatever that might be, it is not static. The present is constantly moving. Stay with it. As you take full responsibility for yourself, you will gradually become aware that you are not responsible for your partner. As you stop judging yourself, so will you stop judging the other. As everything fully comes home to you and you accept your part in the game, noticing where your addictions lie and taking responsibility for where you do have power, one of two things will likely occur. One may be that you accept your partner as they are, whether they have stopped drinking or not, and are no longer negatively impacted and are guided to stay in the relationship. On the other hand, you may feel guided to leave the relationship, made aware that that mirror is no longer necessary. These are not right and wrong decisions, in fact they are not truly decisions but rather “knowing” that become obvious. Beyond that, no action or guidance is forever; it is for right now. Your job is always with yourself. When you listen to and take care of yourself, you are taking care of the world. When you don’t take care of yourself, you are serving no one. Be with your feelings in the now. Stop fighting what is happening and really listen to and welcome everything, rather than trying to change or improve anything. Let that awareness guide you and your relationship. That’s it!
让我们绕一个圈，返回最初的问题，如何处理他人的成瘾，而不是个人的成瘾。当你停止投射到自己伴侣或任何人身上，宣称成瘾是你自己的，按照我们在这里讨论的方式处理它，有趣的事情就会发生。有趣的事情总是在当下发生。我想要提醒你你的工作不是寻求结果，而是与任何发生的东西同在。目标不是结束你伴侣的酗酒。所需的是你与正在发生的事情以及从你身上激发出来的任何感受同在。当你与这些情感同在，也许你会注意到你的伴侣发生了一些改变，也许你不会注意到。这不重要。重要的是正在你之内发生什么。远离你的想法，这样你可以注意到当下存在着什么。无论是什么，它都不是一成不变的。当下总是在移动。与它同在。当你完全为自己负责，你会渐渐意识到你不用为自己的伴侣负责。当你停止评判自己，你也会停止评判别人。当一切完全回归你自己，你接纳你在游戏中的角色，注意到你的成瘾位于哪里并在能够负责的地方负责，就可能会发生一两件事。一件事可能是你接纳伴侣这个样子，无论他们有没有停止喝酒，不再受到消极的影响，被指引去维持这段关系。另一方面，你可能感到被指引去离开这段关系，意识到那个镜像不再是必要的。没有对或错的决定，事实上它们并不是决定，而是变得明显的“知晓”。除此之外，没有行为或指引是永久性的。它只适合现在。你的工作就是总是与自己同在。当你聆听并照顾好自己，你就会照顾好世界。当你没有照顾好自己，你没有在服务任何人。与自己的感受同在。停止抗拒正在发生的事情，真正聆听并欢迎一切，而不是试图改变或改善任何东西。让那个意识指引你和你的关系。就是这样

日期：2024年8月2日
来自：Michael Hersey
译者：NickChan