与家庭成员切断联系是完全可以的

明曲

与家庭成员切断联系是完全可以的

In my opinion, there is nothing more challenging and heartbreaking than having to end the connection and distance yourself from a loved one.


在我看来，没什么比与心爱之人结束连接并疏远更具挑战性和心碎的了


Family ties are some of the strongest bonds anyone has in their entire life. Whether you are family by blood or family by choice, everyone has certain people they consider to be family.


家庭纽带可以说是任何人在他们的一生中最强的纽带了。无论是血缘关系的家人还是把某个人选择当作家人，每个人都有一些他们认为是家人的人


Family is supposed to always be there for you and you never expect your family to hurt you. However, some family members can be more destructive and damaging than anyone else.


家人应该总是为你而在，你从不会期望家人会伤害你。但，一些家庭成员会比其他人更具破坏性和有害


When this sacred bond is broken, it can leave a lasting wound. The truth is, some people are simple too toxic for you to be around and you need to move on without them.


当这个神圣的纽带被破坏，会留下持久的创伤。事实上，一些人对你来说就是毒性太大，你需要不带他们地前进


Don’t be ashamed for deciding to put yourself first. Never put your physical, mental, or emotional well-being on the line just because someone is “family.”


不要因把自己放到第一位而感到羞愧。永远不要让你的身体、精神或情感福祉处于险境，就因为某个人是“家人”


So, how do you know how to spot a toxic family member? Pay attention for these five warning signs!


所以，你如何识别一个有毒的家庭成员？注意这五个征兆！


1. They feed off drama.


1.他们吸食戏剧


Have you ever decided to turn to family member for some advice or shared some of your deepest fears with someone you trusted? You expose your vulnerabilities in hopes to receive some sort of assistance in a time of need.


你是否曾经决定转向家庭成员寻求一些意见或与你信任的某个人分享你最深的恐惧？你暴露你的弱点，希望收到某种协助


Then you find out they have completely betrayed you and now everyone knows your secrets. This is the ultimate betrayal, especially when it comes from a close family member or trusted friend.


然后你发现他们完全背叛了你，现在每个人都知道了你的秘密。这是终极的背叛，尤其当它出自一个亲密的家庭成员或信任的朋友


2. They judge you.


2.他们评判你


Constructive criticism is extremely healthy and a required part of every relationship. However, repeated, aggressive, and degrading criticism can affect a person’s self-confidence on a very deep level.


建设性的批评是非常健康的，是每个人际关系所需的一部分。无论如何，重复、侵略性、侮辱人的批评会影响一个人的自信（深度层面上的）


Family members that are overly judgmental and controlling are definitely toxic and you have no need to feel bad about removing yourself from their presence.


过度评判性和控制性的家庭成员肯定是有毒的，远离他们你不需要感到抱歉


3. They are only there for you if it somehow benefits them.


3.他们只会在对他们有好处的时候为你而在


A toxic family member will only decide to help you if they have something to gain. Normally, they will come to you for advice or assistance, but as soon as you give them what they need, they will choose to distance themselves from you once again.


一个有毒的家庭成员只会在他们有什么可以获取的时候决定帮助你。通常，他们会前来给予你建议或协助，但一旦你给予了他们所需要的，他们会选择再次远离你


What happens when you need their support and love? They’re no where to be found. They know how to manipulate you.


当你需要他们的支持和爱，会发生什么？无法找到他们。他们知道如何操纵你


4. They go back and forth between positive and negative comments.


4.他们在积极和消极的评论中来来去去


One moment they’re praising you and supporting your efforts and the next they’re insulting you and judging every move you make.


一会儿他们赞美你，支持你的努力，一会儿他们侮辱你，评判你的每个举动


They can’t tolerate it when you ignore their efforts, so they do everything in their power to regain control of your attention. It is nearly impossible for them to give up their manipulative behavior.


当你无视他们的努力，他们会无法容忍，所以他们会尽一切所能重新掌控你的注意力。他们几乎是不可能放弃他们操纵的行为的


5. They often use a nefarious manipulation technique, referred to as gaslighting.


5.他们经常使用一个恶·毒的操·纵技巧，可以称为煤气灯


If you know someone who claims that they never did or said something when you and everyone else around know that’s a lie… you are being gaslighted.


如果你认识某个人，当你和别人都知道那是一个谎言时他宣称从未做或说过什么...你就是被点了煤气灯


Gaslighting is a technique based on planting seeds of doubt in the mind of the victim in an attempt to make them feel helpless and question their own sanity and memory.


煤气灯就是一个基于把怀疑的种子播种到受害者的头脑中，试图让他们感到无助，质疑自己的理智和记忆的技巧


Chances are, you might have a family member that matches the description above. If so, they are a threat to your mental health. Toxic relationships, even with family and friends, can have a major impact on your overall wellbeing.


有可能，你的一个家庭成员符合上面的描述。如果是这样，他们是对你精神健康的一个威胁。有毒的人际关系，即使是家人和朋友，会对你的整体福祉产生重大的影响


Just because you have identified a toxic relationship, that doesn’t mean you should give up on that person. There are many things you can do to make a toxic family member more tolerable.


仅仅因为你识别了一个有毒的人际关系，并不意味着你应该放弃那个人。有着许多事情你可以做来让有毒的家庭成员更加可以容忍


However, the best solution will always be to remove them from your life. It is not always an easy task, especially if that toxic person is a parent.


无论如何，最好的解决方案总是远离他们。这并不总是一个容易的任务，尤其当那个有毒的人是父母


If the situation has escalated to a point where it has become impossible for you to be happy, then you have no choice but to eliminate that person from your life.


如果情况升级到了你永远无法快乐起来，那么你就没有选择只能将那个人从你生活中剔除


No matter how beneficial removing this person from your life might have been, there will still be feeling of guilt, loss, pain and doubt about the decision.


无论移除那个人会是多么地有益，依旧会感到内疚、损失、痛苦和怀疑，对于那个决定


You must be willing to make this sacrifice in order to protect your emotions. Sometimes you have to experience pain to protect yourself. You will also need time to recover and heal.


你必须愿意做出这个牺牲，以便保护你的情感。有时候你需要体验痛苦来保护自己。你还需要时间恢复和疗愈


Remember to always take care of yourself! If you found this article helpful, please don’t be afraid to SHARE it with your family and friends on Facebook!


记住总是照顾好自己！如果你发现这篇文章有用，请不要害怕与你的家人和朋友分享

翻译：Nick Chan https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/DPrjkSA63nEjGC4oW-nOpA